i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize