That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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