I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
