I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize