32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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