Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
