ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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