You can't special order awesome
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
