you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
