Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
