After last night, I could never be a politician.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
