i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
