i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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