nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
