Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
