Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
