he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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