my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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