tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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