your thong is hanging out like whoa
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
