wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
