He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize