1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
