I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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