hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
