and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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