True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
