mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
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