): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
