My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize