We won't sleep together?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize