His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
