so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
