I wish I could punch you in the face.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
