Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
