Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
