you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
