He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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