He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
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