It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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