it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize
