I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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