wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The power of my boobs compel you
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize