So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
