"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
