She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
