I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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