Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize