i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
