she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
