I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
