maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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