I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
false alarm, still single
Randomize
