it glows. i had to have it.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
