i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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