I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize