remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
