I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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