I skipped work to stalk him.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize