I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
