I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
