Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
